Things Every Bride Should Know

There has been a discussion running on Linkedin over several months that I'd like to share, in outline at least. HR Manager Chastity asked the Wedding Industry Professionals group members to share the one piece of advice they give a bride that no one tells them about their wedding day. 


Some of the answers were trite, some were humorous (usually intentionally) and some answers were longer than I intend this whole blog to be. But there was a lot of common sense and even wisdom in the answers, which I have tried to distill into a list that you might find useful, especially if your own Planners, DJs, Celebrants, Caterers, Photographers and others don't offer you similar little gems.


If I haven't given anyone credit for a particular piece of advice, it is because it is mine; or it is my distillation of several contributions without quite being what any one person said....


I have to add, that if some of these thoughts seem a little eccentric or even foolish, remember where they come from: people who attend maybe 50 weddings every year, year after year. Great as your mum is at planning, as organised and assured as you are about the way things will be, and as experienced as your dad, fiance and matron of honour are, even their combined experience is unlikely to come close to what any one of these people see every day: they know what mistakes to avoid, where the pitfalls are and how to avoid them. So here goes (in no particular order):

• Take a few moments between the ceremony and reception for JUST YOU TWO. Perhaps get a few pics then, but be alone for 5-10 minutes as newlyweds! (Rev. Carleen Burns)
• Practice walking wearing your dress. I have seen many brides almost fall over when stepping onto their dress (Bernd Kestler)
• It won't be perfect, but the imperfections are what makes your wedding memorable (Stephanie Thompson)
• Take a pair of comfortable shoes to the reception! (Me)
• Don't go cheap, don't be last minute. Don't have huge expectations and you will have a great day. Remember it's going to go by pretty fast...enjoy it while it lasts (Jeff Donovan)
• After the wedding, couples have bills to pay, lives to lead, and often little expendable income for wedding pictures, so photos are really not something that can easily come "after" the wedding. Also, if you've cut corners on things like time, then you may not have professional photos of some key moments because you've sent your photographers home (Dana Gieringer)
• Prioritize what you really want out of the wedding- and that includes allocating your budget. I am often faced with brides who hired me to photograph their wedding, but then afterwards could not afford the album they really wanted - after spending an equal amount (if not more) on chair covers and napkins! (David Briggs)
• Plan the wedding for you and not for what everyone else thinks you should have! (Rob Stratford)
• If you go cheap, you'll probably get cheap, and maybe even cheated (Dana Gieringer)
• Stop and live the moment - many times we are all caught up in what is next or what else wiIl have to get done. Each time you find yourself in all caught up in a moment, take a deep breath and as you let out that air smile and enjoy the moment (liza atwood)
•  Decide what's most important to you and be realistic about what that is going to cost. And for goodness sake, get a contract that spells out what you get for your money (Dana Gieringer)
• Take 5 minutes to yourselves...even if it means locking yourselves away in a toilet between the day and the evening!  (Kirsty Chesterman)
• Be sure to hire a car that will fit you AND your dress and, if possible, practice getting in and out of the car with your wedding dress (or similar) on so that you can achieve it without an embarrassing moment! Hoops are worst and most likely to put you on display in a way you never intended (Simon Ross)
• Be yourself. Don't feel like a stranger at your own wedding (Lillian Lyon).

This isn't the sum of all wisdom, not even the sum of the ideas in the discussion; but every bit of advice in this blog is something I wish I had said to at least one bride this year - 
because I have seen the results of brides "going cheap" and being let down (or worse, stood up); 
brides and grooms who couldn't fit into their vintage sports hire-cars; 
people who didn't have a written agreement and needed one; young couples starting married life in debt to pay for wedding extravagances that they said afterwards didn't add anything to their day but cost; 
lots of falls and trips on the dress - brides and bridesmaids both. 


And most of all, couple's who put so much effort into making the day meet somebody's standard of "perfection" that they never got to savor and enjoy what should have been their day. 

Have a Happy New Year, a Happy Wedding Day and a wonderful marriage!

Love the Dress - What are you going to do with it now?

I can't say that "trashing the Dress" is particularly popular out my way, although plenty of photographers offer this so-called service, and I make sure to offer it to my clients... I have not had anyone take it up yet.

The guys aren't interested one way or the other; unless it is a hired garment and they might have to pay for the damage!

Some of the girls are worried about the dress itself... what if it gets dirty, torn, stained and they can't get it clean? Or about the tradition: it was Grandma's/I want my daughter to be able to wear it/ mum would kill me.

Mostly though, the idea of risking a very expensive garment is the issue, even if it is just to preserve its resale value. So I was very interested to bump into Lynne and Peter last week.

Lynne and Peter Smith are dry cleaners. More than that.... they have a unique Wedding Gown repair and preservation process which involves specialized cleaning and hand repair of the dress. One clean, it is placed in a sealed box to prevent mold, mildew, or insect damage.

Not just a clean dress in a box. This airtight container has had the oxygen replaced by an inert gas so that no yellowing or discoloration from oxidation can possibly harm the gown. The box - maybe I should call it a "vault" - has a clear window in it so you can see your dress, which has been carefully, lovingly folded and padded using acid-free tissue to enhance its form and show off any detail work.

That's not all: the box is then placed in an outer container that has extra features to control humidity, pH, and oxygen levels, so preventing sunlight & UV damage during long-term storage, while still letting you have a peek when the urge takes you.

Everything is acid-free - the storage chest, box and packing tissue. Which means each gown is properly stored in materials that will not yellow or “bleed” into the fabric over the years.

What a great fit for a Trash the Dress promotion, though I - I could do the shoot, and send the dress to Lynne and Peter who would clean the gown. The bride would be reassured and the groom would have no need to worry, knowing the dress was going to be properly repaired and cared for. Bad Idea, David!

Lynne must have seen something in my eyes: "You don't do Trash the Dress, do you?" - It wasn't so much a question as an accusation! I was really thankful to be able promise I never had, and then just sit quietly (innocently!) and listen to her horror stories:

- the mother-of-the-Bride, devastated by what had been done to her wedding gift (The Gown);

- the $8000 Designer Dress that would never be free of seaweed stains;

- what it means to get sand or soil or mud into the fine seams of a hand sewn gown (did you ever try to unpick and then resew a one-of-a-kind, or match hand made buttons that cannot be bought in any store?)

I won't trouble you with the details, but the conclusion was very simple: Lynne will not touch a dress that has been abused just for the sake of a passing photographic fad! As for entering into some arrangement with Practicaps Weddings to promote such vandalism..... I never actually asked!

What I did ask was the cost of her Heirloom Preservation service...can't tell you, exactly, it depends on the individual job; but for an off the rack gown that hasn't suffered too much on the Big Day, think of about $680 as a starting point. For a Couture Gown - POA!