Second Time Around

There is something special about a second or subsequent wedding. It has a very different emotional texture to the typical Veils and Vows new bride wedding day. Not second best, by any measure, but ...different.

Whatever brings a formerly married couple to the point where they are free to marry again, their history has a significant influence on their wedding plans, their ideas about what marriage means and how to live as a couple. It is a very different set of expectations to those of someone who has never had the experience of being a husband or wife.

Many of our clients are already living together, often with a young family, when they ask us to share their wedding day, but they are coming to place a successful union on a different level. That is quite different to the experience of the Second-Time-Arounders.

It doesn't matter what combination of events were involved, the end of a marriage is always touched by grief, loss and often, by a sense of failure or inadequacy. That is a lot to overcome, and committing to marriage again shows resilience, real strength, a willingness to trust and the ability to invest yourself in another person.

It isn't just the couple's attitude towards marriage that is different, but their attitude to the ceremony is different, too. Not all couples, but most, seem to want to simplify the day - to limit it to the essentials: the ceremony, perhaps a small reception, a few close friends. That could seem very limiting if you are a photographer.... No bridal preparation, no location or studio session, no engagement party photos, not albums or slideshows... in fact, some people don't think it's worth hiring a photographer at all.

In a way, I agree: a "Capital W" Wedding Photographer who is going to approach this as they would their typical bride and groom, or shoehorn their day into the 'tog's mold for a wedding shoot is not going to have much to offer. But this is still a really important event in the couple's life. Of course it should be recorded and it deserves the attention of a skillful photographer, but it has to be appropriate photography, too.

The budget is going to be different as well, and if the photographer is going to really honour the newly re-weds view, he is going to have to tailor his services and products to what really counts and what the day means to his clients.

Earlier this year, I started tailoring a special package for people about to enter marriage for the second time. So far we have been able to work with people who had been widowed, others who have been through a divorce, and the idea of "the package" has had to be interpreted pretty loosely; there are just so many individual differences. But there are a few things that are consistent for our Second Time Around Weddings.

First, we charge a little less, mainly because we spend less of the day with our couples.

Although we strongly promote albums, they tend to run to about 30 pages - much smaller than the typical 150 page albums that we do for other couples; and we always include a free enlargement and at least one framed print., which is what many clients want.

Is it good business to offer a service that will never make the same profit as our standard offerings? Maybe not, but then who ever said "good business" the only reason people become wedding photographers?

Your Wedding: Photography and Style

I have wanted to write about Style for a while. It is a confusing subject, and I suspect I will have to come back to it more than once, so if this post seems a bit tenuous and incomplete, please be patient.

A confusing subject? Sure. Ask a painter or a photographer about style, then repeat the question to a hairdresser; take it up with an architect and a landscape artist. All the conversations will have somethings in common, but lock your painter, architect, hairdresser and the rest in one room, throw in a violinist, a sculptor and a composer - chaos!

I get quite a bit of feedback from wedding professionals, so I know they read this blog, and I bet as soon as they saw the heading, every one of them  "knew" what it was going to be about. Whether they were right or wrong, I bet it wasn't what our brides would be expecting to read about Style and their wedding day.

Before I get in too deep: Style is endlessly discussed in Art Schools and Art Circles and it is generally about one of two things: either, the personal imprint of a photographer or other visual artist that makes their work immediately identifiable to those in the know; or, the technical skills and ability required to emulate a particular artist's work, either as a learning tool or as evidence that a person under scrutiny has less merit as an artist, because he has not evolved a true Style of his own.

Most work is derivative: we admire a photographer's work, and either consciously or otherwise, we start to produce work that is like their's. We think our photograph  is good when it is like one our favourites, though we may not realise that... then, as our body of work grows, and we become more confident, we lose sight of the connection between our work and its creative origins: our style is derivative just as much as our works.

Is this a bad thing? Not really. There are just so many "originals" in the world, and it would be a great pity if the style for which they were famed died with them.

Well this may be interesting, but it is getting a bit "arty".

If you are a bride-to-be planning that most wonderful wedding, do you care if your photographer's work is original or derivative, whether she is admired by the atrs community for her (capital S) Style? I doubt it. Some of my brides are photographers: they don't really care about the niceties of Style, either. What is foremost in most bride's mind is how they will look in their pictures, and if they can find a photographer whose gallery or portfolo excites or inspires them - wonderful. But you know what - I think the photographer's photographic style is a lot less important than their personality - another kind of style; the way they respond to you as their personal client.

If you choose a photographer because the work they display to represent them appeals, then find you can't stand to be in the same room with them.... OK, that's unlikely, but I have heard plenty of complaints about the attitude of different wedding photographers during the wedding day. I wonder how they ever get new referrals!

That aside, it seems to me that for a majority of people, great technical skill, a real understanding of you as a couple, and a willingness to build a set of wedding photographs that represents you - your style - is a good deal more important than promoting their style through your wedding.

Of course, there is a more general style question...do you see your photos as a formal, record of the event,  as a traditional wedding record, or do you want a journalistic approach? Maybe you want the photos to have a Romantic feeling to them, or perhaps quirky and fun?  Well, you could look for someone whose work fits that concept, but as I said before, a skilled photographer will be able to do that, if he takes the time to listen and get to know you. But if they assume you came to them to replicate at your wedding what they did at another, someone is either lazy or vain; and somebody is going to be disappointed. Don't let it be you!

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