Things Every Bride Should Know

There has been a discussion running on Linkedin over several months that I'd like to share, in outline at least. HR Manager Chastity asked the Wedding Industry Professionals group members to share the one piece of advice they give a bride that no one tells them about their wedding day. 


Some of the answers were trite, some were humorous (usually intentionally) and some answers were longer than I intend this whole blog to be. But there was a lot of common sense and even wisdom in the answers, which I have tried to distill into a list that you might find useful, especially if your own Planners, DJs, Celebrants, Caterers, Photographers and others don't offer you similar little gems.


If I haven't given anyone credit for a particular piece of advice, it is because it is mine; or it is my distillation of several contributions without quite being what any one person said....


I have to add, that if some of these thoughts seem a little eccentric or even foolish, remember where they come from: people who attend maybe 50 weddings every year, year after year. Great as your mum is at planning, as organised and assured as you are about the way things will be, and as experienced as your dad, fiance and matron of honour are, even their combined experience is unlikely to come close to what any one of these people see every day: they know what mistakes to avoid, where the pitfalls are and how to avoid them. So here goes (in no particular order):

• Take a few moments between the ceremony and reception for JUST YOU TWO. Perhaps get a few pics then, but be alone for 5-10 minutes as newlyweds! (Rev. Carleen Burns)
• Practice walking wearing your dress. I have seen many brides almost fall over when stepping onto their dress (Bernd Kestler)
• It won't be perfect, but the imperfections are what makes your wedding memorable (Stephanie Thompson)
• Take a pair of comfortable shoes to the reception! (Me)
• Don't go cheap, don't be last minute. Don't have huge expectations and you will have a great day. Remember it's going to go by pretty fast...enjoy it while it lasts (Jeff Donovan)
• After the wedding, couples have bills to pay, lives to lead, and often little expendable income for wedding pictures, so photos are really not something that can easily come "after" the wedding. Also, if you've cut corners on things like time, then you may not have professional photos of some key moments because you've sent your photographers home (Dana Gieringer)
• Prioritize what you really want out of the wedding- and that includes allocating your budget. I am often faced with brides who hired me to photograph their wedding, but then afterwards could not afford the album they really wanted - after spending an equal amount (if not more) on chair covers and napkins! (David Briggs)
• Plan the wedding for you and not for what everyone else thinks you should have! (Rob Stratford)
• If you go cheap, you'll probably get cheap, and maybe even cheated (Dana Gieringer)
• Stop and live the moment - many times we are all caught up in what is next or what else wiIl have to get done. Each time you find yourself in all caught up in a moment, take a deep breath and as you let out that air smile and enjoy the moment (liza atwood)
•  Decide what's most important to you and be realistic about what that is going to cost. And for goodness sake, get a contract that spells out what you get for your money (Dana Gieringer)
• Take 5 minutes to yourselves...even if it means locking yourselves away in a toilet between the day and the evening!  (Kirsty Chesterman)
• Be sure to hire a car that will fit you AND your dress and, if possible, practice getting in and out of the car with your wedding dress (or similar) on so that you can achieve it without an embarrassing moment! Hoops are worst and most likely to put you on display in a way you never intended (Simon Ross)
• Be yourself. Don't feel like a stranger at your own wedding (Lillian Lyon).

This isn't the sum of all wisdom, not even the sum of the ideas in the discussion; but every bit of advice in this blog is something I wish I had said to at least one bride this year - 
because I have seen the results of brides "going cheap" and being let down (or worse, stood up); 
brides and grooms who couldn't fit into their vintage sports hire-cars; 
people who didn't have a written agreement and needed one; young couples starting married life in debt to pay for wedding extravagances that they said afterwards didn't add anything to their day but cost; 
lots of falls and trips on the dress - brides and bridesmaids both. 


And most of all, couple's who put so much effort into making the day meet somebody's standard of "perfection" that they never got to savor and enjoy what should have been their day. 

Have a Happy New Year, a Happy Wedding Day and a wonderful marriage!

If your are asked to photograph a friend's wedding

Month after month I see this question on various social networks: "Help: I have been asked to take the pictures for my (friend, relative etc)'s wedding. Please give me some advice."

My immediate reaction is to advise them don't do it! Not if need to get this sort of help on Facebook or MyLot, or even on betterphoto.com.

Of course, that's not what I do say; I just offer some tips about wedding photography and a list of essential shots. I often suggest they read extensively on the subject and include my Intel at Qassia.com in the reading list - if you really want to do the job, there is good advice there, and in lots of other blogs around the web.

The thing is, weddings are not something you can go back and reshoot if you get it wrong: while it might be a great learning experience for you, it isn't one that you friends can really afford for you to mess up on.

It is easy to say ‘yes’, but if you don't have a clear idea of what you are doing, and a great deal of self-confidence, then as the wedding day approaches you may start to wish you hadn’t!

Lack of experience as a wedding photographer is not a reason to say "no" of course: everyone starts out without experience and there was a first time for every Wedding Master. So my advice for those willing to have a go, but NOT willing to risk losing the couple as friends, is:

1. Read all you can, starting with the Qassia link above
2. Practice! There is usually plenty of time between being asked and the wedding day; use it to shoot lots of portrait and journalistic-style photos
   
3. Do what any wedding photographer would do: sit down with your clients and plan the shoot with them
4. Go to the rehearsal and use it for what it is: a practice session. Not just for the Bridal Party, but for you.
5. If you are not already comfortable with PhotoShop or PaintShopPro, learn to use the program properly; take lessons or at least buy a book or DVD course and practice
6. Go to a few presentation nights and parties: the lighting at most Receptions is dreadful, so taking photographs in similar conditions is good preparation
7. If you don't have a Digital SLR or a film based camera, look into hiring one; and if you decide to do that, hire it for another day so you are really familiar with it before the day: but do not shoot the wedding on a digital compact camera unless it is a top model! Only one or two can handle the lighting range and produce files big enough for wedding enlargements. Maybe a Canon G10 or similar, but otherwise, low light conditions are beyond them. (that reception again, and the church)

And finally, remember that it is light that makes the picture: use it to best advantage.