Second Time Around

There is something special about a second or subsequent wedding. It has a very different emotional texture to the typical Veils and Vows new bride wedding day. Not second best, by any measure, but ...different.

Whatever brings a formerly married couple to the point where they are free to marry again, their history has a significant influence on their wedding plans, their ideas about what marriage means and how to live as a couple. It is a very different set of expectations to those of someone who has never had the experience of being a husband or wife.

Many of our clients are already living together, often with a young family, when they ask us to share their wedding day, but they are coming to place a successful union on a different level. That is quite different to the experience of the Second-Time-Arounders.

It doesn't matter what combination of events were involved, the end of a marriage is always touched by grief, loss and often, by a sense of failure or inadequacy. That is a lot to overcome, and committing to marriage again shows resilience, real strength, a willingness to trust and the ability to invest yourself in another person.

It isn't just the couple's attitude towards marriage that is different, but their attitude to the ceremony is different, too. Not all couples, but most, seem to want to simplify the day - to limit it to the essentials: the ceremony, perhaps a small reception, a few close friends. That could seem very limiting if you are a photographer.... No bridal preparation, no location or studio session, no engagement party photos, not albums or slideshows... in fact, some people don't think it's worth hiring a photographer at all.

In a way, I agree: a "Capital W" Wedding Photographer who is going to approach this as they would their typical bride and groom, or shoehorn their day into the 'tog's mold for a wedding shoot is not going to have much to offer. But this is still a really important event in the couple's life. Of course it should be recorded and it deserves the attention of a skillful photographer, but it has to be appropriate photography, too.

The budget is going to be different as well, and if the photographer is going to really honour the newly re-weds view, he is going to have to tailor his services and products to what really counts and what the day means to his clients.

Earlier this year, I started tailoring a special package for people about to enter marriage for the second time. So far we have been able to work with people who had been widowed, others who have been through a divorce, and the idea of "the package" has had to be interpreted pretty loosely; there are just so many individual differences. But there are a few things that are consistent for our Second Time Around Weddings.

First, we charge a little less, mainly because we spend less of the day with our couples.

Although we strongly promote albums, they tend to run to about 30 pages - much smaller than the typical 150 page albums that we do for other couples; and we always include a free enlargement and at least one framed print., which is what many clients want.

Is it good business to offer a service that will never make the same profit as our standard offerings? Maybe not, but then who ever said "good business" the only reason people become wedding photographers?