Saving on your Wedding might Save Your Marraige

I started my last post with the comment "mortgaging your marriage to pay for your wedding is a recipe for misery" and offered some advice about keeping your photography costs under control. But there are lots of ways to reduce your costs without giving up professional photography coverage. 

Wedding costs are a numbers game. Two extra Bridesmaids is not just two more dresses  - it also means two extra groomsmen, four extra "thank-you" gifts; additional fittings, meals (not just at the reception),  probably an extra hire car... It helps if they contribute financially -  you have, make it clear that you can't afford to dress them: let them know early in the process - when you invite them to be in the Bridal Party - that they will be expected to hire/buy their own outfits. Part of the fun of getting ready is the shopping and fitting, and you can still have that pleasure together!

Typically, bridesmaids dresses match - but I have been to a few weddings where each bridesmaid dressed individually, their outfits including an element to make them obviously part of the bridal party. 

If you only have it for the wedding day and never expect to use it again, look at the purchase with a critical eye. Be careful of "tradition" - a lot of these so called traditions are nothing more than inventions designed to sell more to brides. 

Anything that is a "one-off" purchase is a candidate for economising. A dress you will never wear again; table decorations and "favours" - do you really need 20 pairs of salt and pepper shakers shaped like doves, and will your guests enjoy the day any less if they don't get to take home a little china frame with your menu in it?  Personalised wedding favours do seem to be  the in thing at the moment, and it may be really important to you, but you really don't need more than one - if you have personalized napkins, you don't need personalised matches, lollies, place cards, menus and bookmarks too. Select just one. 

Consider the couple who put a bottle of Dimple Haigh on every table (about $500), a china frame for every guest (say, $600), hired a limousine to get to a park near the wedding venue, and then a horse-drawn carriage for the last 3 kilometres. It was very nice, but that was more than a year ago, they are still in financial difficulties and they are still asking for time to pay for their photos! 

You can save a very significant amount on the wedding gown if you do not insist on getting it from a Bridal Boutique. There are other options to having a designer dress made - or even buying off the hook at a Bridal Store - and no,  "budget" is not a bad word. There is nothing second-class about economising. And staying with the "seconds" theme, think second-hand. Your mother's wedding dress (or your fiancée's mum's gown) might cost something to alter, but what a lovely choice! 

Other "worn once only" sources are the classified ads (papers and on-line) and eBay; and I have to mention that I was in a Salvation Army store two weeks ago where I saw no fewer than 6 wedding dresses - none above $50 and all immaculate. 

The Internet is a great source for buying new bridal apparel too. I meet brides taking advantage of these very low-price options all the time, and I haven't met one who was unhappy they did - only one word of warning: order earlier than you think you have to. Not only can deliveries be slow, but sizes are not always a reliable guide to fittings when you buy from overseas suppliers, and quality, while surprisingly good, is not something to be taken for granted... you may have to resew a seam or strap, which you don't want to discover on the morning of your wedding.

For the men, the reverse might be true - some tailors are actually cheaper than rentals, and if you choose the right style, that suit can become part of your regular wardrobe. Bargain.

Men don't spend as much on shoes, but special shoes for the bride and her attendants are one of those "traditions" that your parents never heard of. If you were a shorter gown, smart shoes are important -  but "Smart" doesn't have to mean "designer" and, under a longer gown no-one  is ever going to get more than a glimpse anyway.

Back to the numbers game: reduce the guest list and the budget may come back to black without you having to do anything else.  You can invite many more people to the ceremony than to the reception, and really, it is the wedding ceremony that makes you man and wife - the reception is just a pricey party! 

To avoid putting anyone's nose out of joint, plan a barbecue for when you get back from your honeymoon or another suitable date. When you send out your wedding invitations, send a note to the "second list" at the same time, inviting them to your post-wedding celebration; make it a big deal. They'll love you for it.

Next post, I want to talk about savings you can achieve at the reception.

"She'll be right" is still at the heart of what it is to be an Aussie, and that means a lot of couples find themselves just a few months out from their wedding day with planners, caterers, hire car companies venues and others holding out their hands and a black hole where their bank balance used to be! 

 It just makes no sense to me that to start your life together in debt to your wedding day, and mortgaging your marriage to pay for your wedding is a recipe for misery. But what can you do about it? A bit... but don't leave it much longer!

Let's start with what I know best - photography. There are a few ways to reduce the costs and still get a decent photographer: 

• avoid hiring your photographer by the hour or for a set number of hours; instead, buy a package that includes all the basics you want. You'll know what your costs are, and you won't run into unexpected financial pain if the wedding runs behind time. After all, brides do get to the church late, Ministers and celebrants do get flat tyres, traffic accidents do make the musicians late to the reception...
  
• Some photographers include a second photographer without charge: that's a bargain, but if you can't find one like that, consider using one photographer instead of two (some photographers will still bring an assistant, but if you have specified one photographer, that's all you will pay for).
  
• A real money saver might be to engage a photography student or recent graduate provided you are not their very first wedding. And if someone describes themselves as a photography student or new graduate, check their qualification carefully. There isn't a course you can do to qualify as a wedding photographer, so there is a very good chance they mean they just took an elective at high school. Look carefully at their portfolio - more than just a few photos they took at a mates wedding - before you commit. 

The other  other cheap option is to have the photographer supply our photos on disk, without prints or an album.... I really don't like this option; and if you read my earlier posts you will understand why! But it can be a cheap way out. Personally, I think it is better to ask your guests to take lots of photos - but it is a big effort collect them after; and some never come out and most never get around to giving you the pictures! 

One clever idea is to have all your guests download a phone app (there are a couple) that will automatically upload all the photos taken on the day to a common online  gallery for you. They may only be phone-quality pictures, and there will be a lot of rubbish, but it will let you send the official photographer home a bit earlier (only n advantage if yiu ignored point one and hired someone by the hour!).

Photography might seem expensive, but cutting it out is a minor saving compared with other costs; I have seen reception centres add $1000 to the bill to place ribbons on the chairs; which would you rather do without - ribbons or your album?

Remember, your photos are not just for you and not just for now - high quality photos capture your wedding memories for you, your friends, your family and your children. It would be a pity. There are better places to save money, and I'll post on that later.